School of "How To Get Things For Free Just By Being Nice"

I was chuckling to myself this morning as I was replying to an email from Heather.  She is in Ottawa for a few days and got an upgrade at her hotel.  The desk clerk told her "see what you get for a smile"!!!

This made me think of our long-standing joke about Dave.  The man seems to get free things handed to him all of the time...without being pushy or rude.  Back in '98, Dave, Heath and I toured around the Southwest for two weeks.  It seemed that it was more of an education in "How To Get Things For Free Just By Being Nice" but the final night of our trip was the most impressive.  We had just spent a couple of hours driving back to LA from San Diego and Heath and I were waiting in the car for Dave to check into the hotel.  We were tired...and a bit impatient.  We kept asking "What in the world could be taking him so long????".  Finally, Dave emerged from the lobby and hopped in the car.  He said that the hotel had no more rooms available on the Club Level (we had an upgrade coupon).  Heath and I were disappointed but figured at least we had a bed and roof over our heads.  Then Dave hit us with the big news...the desk clerk was the same one who had checked us out earlier in the week and Dave had remembered him and greeted him by name when we returned.  The clerk had upgraded us to a Suite and given us Club Level access so we could enjoy the free (and amazingly generous) hot breakfast in the morning and the Club Lounge for snacks that night...and would not take the coupon!!  Heath and I just shook our heads and said "We don't know how you do this!!!".  Dave grinned and told us that it was no big secret..."just smile and make people feel special and they will fall all over themselves to help you out without you even asking". 

Another example occurred on our way back from a cruise one year.  We were checking in at the San Juan airport around 1am for a 3am flight (ewww!!).  A clerk was helping us work the 'self check-in' kiosk and we were joking and laughing with her about what a job she had to help out stunned travellers who weren't too sparky at that time of the morning.  When boarding began, this same woman came over to us and pulled us out of line and told us that she would like to upgrade us to first class.  What an amazing treat!!  I think it was the first time that I had a quality sleep on a plane....and all because we were being nice instead of cranky : - )

I have watched Dave in action for over 20 years now and have learned that this approach tends to be very effective a large percentage of the time.  It isn't a matter of being fake or manipulative.  If you aren't genuine, people will know this on some level and won't be keen to help you out.  Service jobs are often pretty thankless and when someone is kind and appreciative....people will go out of their way to do something nice for you.  Even if they can't do something for you...give a word of praise or a compliment on how well they do their job.  Spreading a little joy is always a good practice!

We can all benefit from an education in this 'school' of life☺

With Age Comes Wisdom???

When I was younger, I used to think that when I was 40 years old (ie: ancient) I would have everything all figured out.  Well, I am on the other side of 40 and it is obvious that I am not quite there in the ‘got-it-all-figured-out’ category!!

There are, however, a few things that I have learned in my 40+ years and I thought I would share a few.  I say ‘learned’ but that doesn’t mean ‘perfected’!☺ We are funny humans and knowing something and doing it are often very different things.

1.  We choose our attitude

Each day, when we wake up, we get the opportunity to choose our attitude for the day.  Attitude is often a struggle and it took me many years to realize that I am not a victim of my circumstances.  I may not always choose my circumstances…but I can choose my attitude!!  Some days we make the wrong choice and wallow and struggle instead of facing life’s challenges head on and seeking God’s guidance for our lives.  Each day is a new opportunity to learn this important lesson.

2.  What other people think is not as important as what God thinks

We can live our lives worried about what other people will think and it will never matter as much as what God thinks!!  People will always have an opinion on how we should live our lives and there are as many opinions as there are people in this world.  God shows us, through His Word, the way we should go and He wants our hearts to be right…not just our actions.  You can do the right thing for the wrong reason…and the wrong thing for the right reason.  God judges our intent…

“For the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7

3.  It’s not all about you

When we are younger, the world seems to revolve around our little lives.  As we age, we begin to realize that we are not the center of the universe and that everything is not just about us!  Relationships are important but need to be nurtured.  You can’t have good friendships without being a good friend.  Think of others…send a note, make a phone call, let someone know that you are thinking of them.  It is a small thing that can mean so much to someone else!

4.  You cannot change someone else’s life

We can give people all sorts of advice but until they see something for themselves, it isn’t going to have an impact on their lives.  Sometimes people just aren’t ready to hear it and we will only anger/upset them by bringing it up.  It took me a long time to realize that just because I had an opinion doesn’t mean I always have to express it.  I still work on this one daily.  I sometimes say things that I could have kept to myself…but I am learning to keep my own counsel far more than I used to!  Baby steps….

5.  Change is hard!!!

I think one of the toughest things in life is for people to change.  We develop ways of looking at things or doing things and we tend to stick with what we know and what is comfortable.  Every now and then it is good to take stock of what we are doing and why.  Often, things that worked in the past aren’t working well any longer and changes need to be made.  Don’t be afraid to ‘tweak’ your approach!!

The bottom line is that nobody EVER has it all figured out!  We will be a work-in-progress for as long as we are on this earth.  It isn’t constructive to constantly beat ourselves up over poor choices and mistakes that we have made in our lives.  When we know better…we do better and the only way to ‘know better’ is to make those mistakes and live through the consequences of our choices.  Be encouraged that…

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ…” – Philippians 1:6

A study in contrasts...

I am living with the incredibly shrinking man!  I thought I would show you a before and after comparison...even though we aren't completely to the 'after' yet.  It amazes me how much weight Dave has lost in the last three months.  It has not only improved his physical appearance but he has way more energy than before and, best of all, his stomach problems are almost non-existent : - )

Before  (on our cruise in March 2010)

After (Oct 2010 - 35 lbs lost and counting)

He is following the diet outlined in the book "Breaking the Vicious Cycle: Intestinal Health Through Diet" by Elaine Gottschall.  It has completely changed the way he eats....only fruits, vegetables, meats/fish and nuts (plus his one indulgence - plain chips).  No sugars, no flour/wheat!!  He didn't think he could actually give up all of the foods he loves but he feels so much better that he says he doesn't intend to ever go back to the way he was eating before.

It takes a lot more planning and creativity to prepare meals as, with so few ingredients to use, it can get pretty bland and boring unless you are constantly on the lookout for new ways to prepare things.  I am developing a list of dishes that work well and I am always checking recipe sites for other options.  The tough thing is that even celiac recipes include sugar so I can't even rely on those options.  Oh well, it is a small price to pay to have a healthy husband!!

Peace and tranquility....and other less appealing stuff

Dave left last night to go to the cottage with Richard.  They needed to do a bit of work in preparation for winter and they were heading to my cousin Leah's house tomorrow to help build her barn.  We hosted Youth Group last night and then he took off.

For the first night in several, I didn't wake up at 4:30am coughing myself silly.  I woke to a beautiful sunny day and no real agenda to keep....delightful!  I spent my time tidying up after last night's events...some necessary cleaning, raked the abundance of leaves in the backyard and sat on the deck reading for over an hour.  We won't likely get too many more of these days so I wanted to soak all of the sun's rays that I could get after our torrent of rain this past week.  This is a shot of the yard before all of the leaves fell off the trees!!

Thought you might like to take a gander at the lovely mess that is our car!  Our neighbour across the road was getting his driveway paved and the guy working the backhoe decided that it was a good idea to park it in our driverway without asking permission.  Dave backed out of the garage and right into it.  Sigh!!!  Still trying to force the company to come good for the repairs.  Until then, we can't drive the car when it's raining.  I think the company should perhaps IQ test their workers because they also went to the wrong address to start with and tore up a completely good driveway before realizing that it was the wrong address.  Can you imagine the poor homeowner arriving home to that mess???

Moral of the story:  ALWAYS check very carefully (and constantly) when backing up...even if it is your own driveway and you don't expect a honkin' backhoe to be sitting around the curve : - )

Seeking whom he may devour....

We had the blessing of hearing Dave Patten, a full-time worker from Ontario, in ministry on Sunday.  His message was convicting and very timely.  He spoke about how Satan's sole purpose is to kill and destroy and how Christians cannot let him get a 'launching pad' from which he can do his work in their lives.

He spoke about the different things that Satan will use to minimize a Christian's impact for God.  The main topic that he spoke on was a bitter spirit.  He spoke about how bitterness can enter a believer's life and they aren't even aware that it is Satan doing his work....through them!!  He wants to paralyze us and keep us from being of use to God so he works on our minds and our spirits to deflate and cripple our effectiveness.

He warned us that bitterness will take over our lives, if we let it.  Bitterness toward other Christians that affects our fellowship and our work together for Him.  He also cautioned us not to think "well, I am glad that so and so is here to hear this message" or "too bad so and so is missing this...they really need to hear it".  WE are the ones who need to hear the message.  WE are the ones who need to examine our thoughts and pray for help to purge bitterness from our lives.  Everyone I talked to said that this was a convicting message and came at the perfect time! 

God knows what we need and He gives it to us.  Dave and his wife were not supposed to be here but they ran into some issues that caused them to stop in Moncton overnight.  This was no coincidence!  God used Dave's exercise to impart some timely wisdom to us...to me...and I should not let it fall by the wayside without learning something from it.

Warm thoughts....

The temperature was supposed to go down to -8C last night and I think it did because it is still below zero this morning.  At these times, a girl's thoughts turn toward warmer pleasures.  When the cold chill hits, I start thinking about cruising.  Well, I am always kind of thinking about cruising....but I start remembering the warm breeze on my bare skin, floating weightlessly in the turquoise blue Caribbean waters and the delightful island smells.  People ask why I don't go to Europe or somewhere equally interesting, for a change.  All I can answer is that I am not (at this point) willing to give up my Caribbean dreams for other pursuits.  Since we can't afford to do both, I would have to choose one...and, if I have to choose one, it will be the Caribbean.  What can I say??  It is my happy place!  It makes me happy to think about it, plan for it and immerse myself in it : - )

My cruise blog is still moving along slowly (check it out at http://thegangwaygazette.blogspot.com/).  I have around 14 islands up so far and am slowly plodding through the rest.  We have visited about 22 islands, so soon I will start delving into some that we've never been to.  I am trying to make the blog actually profitable and have all sorts of visions on how to do that but the visions need to be translated into reality.  It is a work in progress and I will forge ahead!!

Thinking warm thoughts......